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League To Unveil New Ultra-Modern Website Next Month

              The Federal League website, after almost 25 years without any major changes, will undergo a radical remake next month, according to an internal report issued by the league office. The changes are designed to promote greater fan interaction and intensive detail in both stories and statistics.
              The new website will not only feature modern graphics, but will have improved sections that have a comprehensive history of the league, as well as, detailed statistical data from Major League Baseball. All stats, for both Federal League and MLB, will be updated on a daily basis.
              Among the new features are sections where fans can compare any two players across different eras. Players' entire careers will be accessible, but viewers may choose to compare individual seasons as well. The new feature will be called "The Baseball Time Machine" and will be completely interactive.
              Another section will be called "Baseball Manager" and will allow users to create their own teams, and then manage a simulated game, using data from over 24,000 players.
              To test drive the new website and its features, click here.
              Additionally, coverage of Federal League game action will be greatly enhanced on the new site.
              In response to complaints lodged by players and fans, league officials have pledged to increase the volume of stories, game reports, and features on the league website beginning this season. Over the past two years, that have been noticeably fewer, and less detailed, stories due to staffing shortages, but thanks to the use of Artificial Intelligence, the amount of coverage provided by the league website will not only return to prior levels, but, according to a league source, be tripled.
              In the past, the league set itself apart from other organizations by providing its fans daily updates, box scores, and detailed statistics. League officials were determined to restore that feature.
              Given the proclivities of many of the AI programmers, there are certain predispositions installed in AI models that may make some small adjustments to the baseball phraseology used in future stories. League officials acknowledged that some of the phrasing may take time for fans to adjust to, similar to how MLB fans have grown to accept terms like "injured list replacing "disabled list."
              For instance, instead of reading that a "pitcher was laboring," fans might see mentions of pitchers "choosing strenuous employment."
             The suicide squeeze might now be referred to as the "self-harm bunt play."
             A fielder's choice could be described as "defensive bodily autonomy."
             Relief pitchers could be rebranded as "hurlers on temporary assistance" and a save might be known as "a successful intervention."
             Stolen bases could possibly be described as being "taken out of necessity."Bullpens will be known as "plant based meat pens."
             A team's lineup might be called its "identity parade," and, a drive into the gap will be called a "trip to where white people shop."
              League officials have also used AI to develop a new ad campaign, "If you are not playing with us, you might as well play with yourself." This has been done to counter the new slogan of a competing league that goes, "We aren't satisfied until you're not satisfied." It is not known at this time if the competing league's new slogan was created by Artificial Intelligence or by natural stupidity.
              For an example of an AI generated story on the new website, click here.





              

            
                          
              
              
                   
                


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